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21 May 2009 @ 02:33 pm
I'm single again. That was quick, wasn't it? Something like two weeks. We're not even communicating with each other anymore, but she basically told me to stop caring about her. It hurts, it isn't easy, but it's what needs to be done. She agreed she was too busy for me and I told her I was too needy right now,  but we were still thinking of dating again when she moved to Portland. But, like that Katy Perry song, she's hot and cold. She told me she made an 'emotional connection' with me and we both seemed like we wanted each other in our lives, even if it was just friendship. I deleted her as a friend on FaceBook and here. I deleted her number from my phone so I am not tempted to text her and she hasn't contacted me in a couple days. I don't know what she wants but I'm not going to chase.

I spent the night in and out of consciousness texting with this older butch (I don't know if she identifies that way, but she appears that way). She was working and I was sleeping and I kept dreaming of her. I woke up once to her offering to take me for a drink or something, her treat. I locked the message because I thought maybe I was dreaming that, too. No! I wasn't. She asked me what I like to do, if I work, go to school...asked the simple questions of each other. She's attractive. But since she's an older butch, she makes me nervous. Last night I had a dream about a sex party where everyone was naked and I stripped but soon ran into a restroom stall and refused to come back out. I need to get comfortable with my body again. Seriously.

I'm watching Clerks 2 instead of being outside. I'll go soon! My boobs are too big, my hair is too thick...hot weather. Blaaah.
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: Clerks 2
gwendolyn1983 on May 22nd, 2009 12:02 am (UTC)
Sorry about you being single. :C How are you doing?