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14 June 2009 @ 11:34 pm

Last night after Charlotte went down on me, she told me I taste like cotton candy and am also fluffy like it. Brenna agreed and was upset that she didn't get to taste me that night. Both of them are so sexy.

The entire night was hot. They actually made me orgasm, which never happens when I am with someone. Charlotte put her hand tight around my neck and started biting me while Brenna was using this huge dildo on me.

Hot hot hot.

I think I am going to see them tomorrow after my first vagina doctor appointment.


I also had drunken sex with someone I never thought I'd have sex with in my life, ever. I'll save that for another time...maybe.
13 June 2009 @ 03:31 pm

My beautiful, talented, warm new friends Charlotte and Brenna created this. It's me! This is the same couple I have been having really hot, uninhibited threesomes with. They're witches and they did some meditation with Brielle last night when she was really emotionally hurting. They read Rhianna's and my palm a couple days ago. I adore them completely. They fill my heart...among other things. Before I even knew their names, I just felt myself gravitating toward them. Like they emit a magnetizing energy. They're incredible.

There's been this couple that I have been admiring from a distance that I first saw at PRYSM. Since then, they have gone almost every week. They are very affectionate with each other and until last night, we hadn't really had a conversation with each other. I thought they looked especially delicious at prom. For me, they possess this natural, genuine energy that magnetises me to them. I was making out for the first time with Scott Mudkip after PRYSM last night. He shaved, took his hat off and has been straightening his hair. It didn't really do anything for me, but it was fun. Brenna and Charlotte are sitting in the back of Scott's car. When I walk over, they ask me for a dollar for food. Taking out my wallet, I ask them what I will receive in return. 'Our gratitude?', says Charlotte. 'I can kiss your hand', says Brenna. I timidly hold out my hand and she kisses a couple fingers very softly but wetly. I thank her and give them the bill. Brenna sits back while I am talking to Scott and then says, 'I can give you a real kiss.'
Instant reaction:
'Huh? What? You're serious? You're joking.'
'No, I'm not. Come here.'
I bend down, head in the car. I turn and Brenna kisses my cheek with her open mouth.
'No a kiss on the lips', she says.
Then it happens. Our lips make contact and butterflies pound out of my chest and my whole body is floating. I say I will see them later and skip away to walk to the Eastland with Tia, David and Kevin. I enjoy holding beautiful and silly David's hand.

Mom just came in. Not wanting to tell you about my HOT HOT HOT sex I had last night.

Let me know if you want it!
07 June 2009 @ 11:50 pm
Someone hassle me about updating in detail about my threesome with Jake and Tia, please? Maybe tomorrow. Not tonight. I am  L Wording REALLY early tomorrow morning.

Updating about Boston and seeing Gogol Bordello would be a good idea, too.
04 June 2009 @ 02:43 pm
It's my new icon.
I feel really connected and able to relate to The L Word lately, especially Shane and especially THE CHART.
Current Mood: hungryhungry
Current Music: My Rollercoaster-Kimya Dawson
03 June 2009 @ 11:39 am

I went on a date yesterday and I liked it because I consider myself the more masculine, or butch or the more dominant personality of the two of us but SHE took ME to lunch. We went to Fuji, which was my first time there. I had salmon and avocado and we both had miso soup and it was way better than the dehydrated stuff I get at Hannaford. It felt fancy. Then, if that weren't enough, we walked down to Commercial street and she bought us both bubble tea. I then asked myself, 'why not?' Femmes can be providers and I can let my guard down. As we walked to PRYSM I started to giggle more and even commented on how cute I thought a Hello Kitty lunchbox was.

It was her first time at PRYSM and she later texted me and told me she loved it. She's really beautiful and sweet and I thought she looked adorable in her Pikachu shirt with him sleeping on a cloud. She sat on my lap and we held hands while outside in the parking lot after. I feel like it was a successful day and I'm looking forward to seeing her again soon. ^_^

Courtney is dating Dri after them knowing each other for three days. Lol. Another connection! Courtney really did bring everyone together when she came here. Jake and I actually shared a prolonged hug...multiple ones...last night. Last time we talked, he told me he wanted me dead.

This is the adorable David:

Look at the little neko. So kawaii!
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Everytime We Touch-Cascada

On Thursday night, I slept on Toby's couch on and off until 2a, when I then proceeded to 7-11 to meet Kourtney. She's really attractive and I like her personality and all her tattoos and her roomies seem really fun and relaxed. We didn't even cuddle though. Sad. We're supposed to do something on Tuesday. I don't know what she thinks of me. Hm. Shaye texted me to let me know she may have mono (meaning she may have given it to me). I hadn't heard from her for three days before that and have not since. At least she's thinking of me? >_> I really wanted to go home and watch Pita-Ten so I declined the invite to go to Tortilla Flat with Mom and Dad. They just drink and order nachos. Dad never gives us a choice. It was more their thing, so I enjoyed my ramen at home. ^_^

Tia called me and invited me to a "we're not going to Anime Boston" party. Violet came over (I never ever see her) and off we went. Mikayla bought like, half a dozen boxes of Lucky Sticks (fake Pocky) and other interesting sweets. Off we went! Vivianne has a place on the lake! A BIG place! There were like a dozen otakus there. We had a ramen feast, devoured all the candy and watched Helsing. I went upstairs to where I'd get a signal and that's when I got the voicemail...

Mom is in jail.

She started a fight with my Dad's girlfriend after she was verbally attacking my Mom. *Facepalm.* She'll be there until Tuesday. Until then, I am home alone caring for the animals and the plants and NOT touching that giant, leaking ball of ground beef in the fridge. No way. I suppose I am walking to the prison tomorrow if I cannot find a ride. It will likely take three hours. I'll work on my tan on the walk.

BACK to the party. We had a rave. I cuddled with Josh and found later that he's gay. Fuuuck. We came back from a walk down to the lake to find everyone singing along to Mulan. Lol. Mikayla said during dinner, "this is the best non-con." I agree. It was plenty of fun. My Aunt insisted on bringing me milk at the wishes of my Mother. It was past 11:30 when Violet and I got back but she insisted. O___o Violet and I watched LazyTown while catching panty shots and staring at the crotch of Sportacus. Then we watched this ghost show which was completely ridiculous but it still scared Violet right before bed.

Should I go  to Strange Maine tonight? Mia, Zach...maybe visiting Megan and Sarah...maybe Toby...maybe Kourtney. >_> Hmmm. I want to see Zach sing. Perhaps. Aunt Nikki continues to call me. She's supposed to be taking care of me. Now I know I only have $20 to work with. This whole thing is an experience though. I can care for myself...for a couple days anyway. It's left me, after a day, with an urge to be financially independant. 

I want to have a party or an orgy.
I'm watching a new anime called Pita-Ten and it's the second favorite I have seen (Lucky Star still remains the first).

And to think...I used to hate anime.
21 May 2009 @ 02:33 pm
I'm single again. That was quick, wasn't it? Something like two weeks. We're not even communicating with each other anymore, but she basically told me to stop caring about her. It hurts, it isn't easy, but it's what needs to be done. She agreed she was too busy for me and I told her I was too needy right now,  but we were still thinking of dating again when she moved to Portland. But, like that Katy Perry song, she's hot and cold. She told me she made an 'emotional connection' with me and we both seemed like we wanted each other in our lives, even if it was just friendship. I deleted her as a friend on FaceBook and here. I deleted her number from my phone so I am not tempted to text her and she hasn't contacted me in a couple days. I don't know what she wants but I'm not going to chase.

I spent the night in and out of consciousness texting with this older butch (I don't know if she identifies that way, but she appears that way). She was working and I was sleeping and I kept dreaming of her. I woke up once to her offering to take me for a drink or something, her treat. I locked the message because I thought maybe I was dreaming that, too. No! I wasn't. She asked me what I like to do, if I work, go to school...asked the simple questions of each other. She's attractive. But since she's an older butch, she makes me nervous. Last night I had a dream about a sex party where everyone was naked and I stripped but soon ran into a restroom stall and refused to come back out. I need to get comfortable with my body again. Seriously.

I'm watching Clerks 2 instead of being outside. I'll go soon! My boobs are too big, my hair is too thick...hot weather. Blaaah.
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: Clerks 2
16 May 2009 @ 11:14 am
Why am I experiencing this crushing disappointment? I haven't even met him. I have only been talking with him for what, a week? I'm trying not to cry. Why? The basis for our friendship is sex and what else do I know of him? Lump in my throat hard to push down. I don't know him...he could be lying to me. I trust until I am given a reason not to. That used to be my way anyway. Now I want to go out. Now I want to do something. I want to be left alone. I want to curl up. I need to find more meaning in my life, clearly. I just want to go back to sleep all day. Fuck.

I have been binging with reckless abandon these past couple weeks. I need to stop. I'm going to kill myself with this vice.

I don't know where to go from here.

Look, I don't mean to sound depressing for anyone happening to scan over this. Look. Cute things:

My summer project is learning to make these. I swear.

Current Mood: weirdweird
Current Music: Story Time-LazyTown
I woke up with the Brady Bunch theme immediately playing in my new consciousness. Brain, you are random, aren't you?

I know it's not cool to brag or sound like...I don't know the word...

Anyway, I LOVE MY LIFE. I mean, I love the places my life takes me. I love my friends. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. It's been about a year ago since I discovered this group. I am changed for the better.
Dumpster diving.
Tree hugging.
Hitch hiking.
Train hopping.
Campfire building.

I loved walking down the street with someone I have a friendly sexual relationship (an older someone, a musician, a poet) with whom I only see when I am Lewiston while there's a boy with dreadlocks leading our parade, crimson lipstick and plastic heart earrings on, belting out angsty songs with Jazz, slam poet extraordinare while Deacon in his blue raspberry wig strides on way too manly to be in that zebra-print, curve-hugging dress. I smile and laugh at it all while I take a swig of Wild Irish Rose and enjoy the night air.

I loved coming home from the police station, rescuing a friend and baby sister (to me). Sitting ourselves in the kitchen, Deacon with the wig off. An anarchy heart shaved into his head, a sweatshirt with a unicorn and a rainbow on it. Going on about the aggression and naming the tactics they used on us. We're all covered in glitter. We smoke before bed, I wait for Jessy, in he comes, drunk. Everyone stumbles to their respective bedrooms. Everyone has a cuddle buddy tonight. New friends. Full of love.

The Lewistunning Dragapalooza was incredible. SO many fierce queens. Big hair, big makeup, big attitude. MIMI came on stage and the audience went fucking CRAZY. I thought I was going to shoot through the roof I was so excited. Sigh. I love Mimi.

Jazz, Rhianna and I hitched. First we walked around in a circle through Lewiston. Someone told us it was illegal. Yes, but we don't have a choice, said Jazz. Some people don't realize their advantages. Like a vehicle of their own or money to take a bus. This self-employed business man picked us up. It was his birthday so I gave him Jessy's zine. I felt very proud.

I bought Mom a rose and bought her plants later. I'm gonna go hug her.

I really love my friends (including my Mom).

Let me say more!
I have this beautiful girlfriend and her name is Shaye. I'm going to see her today and this makes me happy.

We went to the place behind Wok Inn and my leg broke through the rotting wood. Then we had gooey mango sherbert things from the Asian market. Then I bought Pokemon stickers for Max and Fox. Cory is coming to PRYSM tonight. We've missed him. We didn't get to say goodbye to him.